So today, I was at a lovely lunch party for one of my coworkers. It’s her 10th year at the District, and we were celebrating in style! (Pizza, cole slaw and cake.) Another coworker of mine was sitting next to me, and we have always gotten along just fine. She loves my baked goods I bring into work, and was sad to discover I had brought in the cole slaw, instead of lemon bars. We laughed, chatted, things were going grand. Until the taboo topic of CHILD RAISING came up. She mentioned in conversation with me (and 2 other moms) that her daughter had woken up last night and asked for a drink. Her daughter is approximately 8, so not sure where she was going with this story. I chime in, because I usually talk a lot about my kid, and say that last night, Owen had woken up to greet me with a very happy “Hi Mommy!” and to ask for a pretzel. (I mean, tell me that’s not cute?!) I mean, it’s cute. His sweet raspy voice, asking for a pretzel, of all things. She asked if he was sleeping through the night (I should have just walked away at this point) and I said no, that he has only slept through the night about 3 times. I said he’s still in bed with us, so it’s easy for me to get him back to sleep. And yes, I held my tongue and did not mention breastfeeding, since that would have clearly knocked her off her chair. She proceeds to tell me, quite loudly, that I need to CUT THE CORD. What the? Excuse me? Cut the CORD? I almost spit my Diet Pepsi out of my nose. She said that he’s not sleeping through the night BECAUSE he’s still in bed with us. If I would just cut the cord and make him sleep in his bed, he would sleep better.
Heaven help me. I wanted to punch her in the face.
She went on to say that with her kids, the DAY they turned 3 months, they were in their own bed. She said her son only cried it out for about 10 minutes the first night and he’s slept great ever since. (Really??) But, she said, her daughter was a whole different story. She said that little girl cried and cried and cried. She said after 45 (FORTY-FIVE!!) minutes, her daughter finally fell asleep from exhaustion. She said you have to teach your kids to soothe themselves, and that’s how they learn. By CIO. She said it was too late for me, since I never let Owen CIO, and now he will always be dependent on me.
She got up and left.
I sat in that chair dumbfounded for another couple of minutes. How could anyone let a 3 month old CIO for 45 minutes? And that is teaching that infant WHAT lesson again??
Just had to vent. But I’m pretty sure in the long run, I haven’t screwed up my child. I know I’m doing the best I can and I’m giving O everything I feel he needs….It still breaks my heart to be judged so harshly by another mom.